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Vehicles send clear message

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Imagine my delight when I came across this headline: “Women like men who drive black pickup trucks.”

And people say there’s no good news anymore.

Here’s the scoop, fresh from the World Wide Interweb Thingie:

“A survey from Insure.com polled 2,000 drivers in order to find which kinds of vehicles were most attractive for a member of the opposite sex to drive.

“According to the survey, women prefer a man in a dark pickup truck. Thirty-two percent of women favored trucks, and more than half of the women surveyed preferred men in black cars.

“Sports cars came in 5 percentage points behind trucks at 27 percent. Women didn’t place much value on the brand of truck, although Ford led the pack with 16 percent of the vote. Sorry postal workers, mail trucks were found to be the most unattractive vehicle for men.

“Men preferred women in sports cars by a large margin, 39 percent. And they clearly favored ladies with international flair. BMW was the favorite brand at 16 percent, followed by Mercedes-Benz at 14 percent and Porsche at 10 percent. Forty percent preferred red over any other color.”

Now that is a news release just chock-full of useful information.

I find it interesting that sports cars come in behind pickups among the women’s preferences and lead the pack when we’re talking about what men like to see women tooling around in. I think I know why, too.

A man in a sports car sends a message. The man driving THINKS the message is “Look at how exceptionally cool I am, driving around in my sports car.” In fact, the message is much more succinct, and women know this. And what is that message? “Midlife crisis.” And no women with the brains God gave geese wants anything to do with a man in the throes of a midlife crisis. A more insecure man does not walk the planet.

A woman driving a red sports car sends a message to men, and there’s a bit of miscommunication there as well, which should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever been in a relationship. Miscommunication is the way men and women talk to one another. Anyway, the woman thinks the message is something along the lines of “I’m sporty, I’m a fun person, I’m a bit of a daredevil.” All of this may be true, but where men are concerned, it is laughably wrong. What it says to a guy is, “Wow, I really like that car. Maybe she’d let me drive it.”

Also, if it’s a Porsche, BMW or Mercedes, it implies the woman has disposable income, meaning she might spring for the popcorn when you go to the movies. This is an especially attractive idea to cheapskates.

But back to the pickup trucks: What is it about pickup trucks, especially black ones, especially Fords, that appeals to women?

I think it’s pretty easy to figure out. A man in a pickup truck seems sure of himself. He sends a message (whether it’s true or not) about being hardworking and responsible. He’s not pretending to be something he’s not (unless, of course, he is pretending to be secure, hardworking and responsible.)

But I really think it gets down to this: A man in a pickup truck can haul stuff. Which, when you need something hauled, can be very attractive.

That’s what I do with my pickup. My black pickup. My black Ford pickup. Just in case you ladies wondered.

Mike Redmond is an author, journalist, humorist and speaker. Send comments to letters@dailyjournal.net.

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