Like most Americans, I like American food. Such as pizza.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: Oh, Mike Redmond, you are so silly. Pizza is not American. Pizza is Chinese. Marco Polo brought it back to Italy along with gunpowder and a stack of Jackie Chan DVDs (this was before Leonardo DaVinci invented Blu-ray).
OK, maybe not. Perhaps you’re thinking:
Oh, Mike Redmond, you have it wrong again. Pizza is authentic Italian food, just like chimichangas are authentic Mexican food, chop suey is authentic Chinese food and French’s mustard is authentic French food.
All right, then. Maybe it’s:
Oh, Mike Redmond, you shouldn’t be eating pizza. In which case I say, “Hi, Mom.”