Column: Sizzle in gifts missing due to pork-less presents

Christmas morning was a big disappointment for me this year. Not one of my presents was bacon related.

It’s hard to imagine how Mary Ellen could have perused the current merchandise catalogs thick with bacony items and not realize that there should have been something under the tree that had at least a whiff of this American food addiction.

Everyone loves bacon. When it’s frying in the pan, one can almost hear a splattering of applause coming from the heavens. We wrap a $50 filet in a strip of bacon to make it even better, and “No one has ever gone to see a Kevin Hot Dog movie,” says comic Jim Gaffigan. Nor would we even know what a water chestnut is if it weren’t for bacon.

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