It is a triangulate cobweb spider as far as I can figure, either that or a hobo spider. I hope the former because triangulate cobweb spiders “are not dangerous to humans, but they do hunt brown recluse and black widows, so they are nice to have around the house.”
Hobo spiders, on the other hand, are only “slightly less poisonous” than a brown recluse. The picture on the spider identification website (ha, ha) makes me favor the triangulate cobweb version. I’m going to go with that.
Becky hurried into the house last weekend and said I should see the “giant” spider in the garage. I pictured something from a 1950s horror movie where, because of a nuclear explosion, insects grow to the size of houses and terrorize the planet and nothing can stop them not even the U.S. Army, but then some B-movie actor and his comely B-movie actress assistant come up with a clever plan and save the world from radioactive insect destruction.