Make the Music fit the Mood

By Jessie Rosen (The Knot)

Music is a key factor during almost every moment of your reception, from
the cocktail hour to dinner and your first dance. So make it count and try
to avoid some of these common missteps.

Skipping the sound check

With destination weddings becoming more popular, brides and grooms have to
consider making remote locations microphone-friendly. Crashing waves could
easily drown out a string quartet or trio of flutes, and a windy mountain
peak could render even the strongest voice silent. Ask the site manager
about acoustic limitations. And be flexible; though you may have your heart
set on a harp, not being able to hear it will be far more disappointing.

The unending first dance

You may have fallen in love with "Freebird," by Lynyrd Skynyrd, but imagine
how long nine minutes and eight seconds will feel while you're dancing with
everyone watching you. Pay careful attention to your song's length before
committing to it. Even four minutes can be brutal if you're just rocking
back and forth. If your heart is set on a certain ballad, look into having
it cut down to a reasonable length. You can either work on this with your
DJ; find a local music studio; or, if you know your way around iTunes, you
can download the song and cut it yourself. See a list of favorite first
dance songs at TheKnot.com/music.

Giving up control

While you should feel comfortable letting your band or DJ guide the music,
providing a play list (or, better yet, a no-play list) will make you feel
less anxious about their song choices. You certainly don't want a song with
painful associations to pop up unexpectedly. Start by consulting with your
DJ on just how many songs will fill the night; then sit down with your
fiance and go through your MP3 collection to create a master music list. You
are each allowed veto power, of course.

Blowing out the speakers

Despite the presence of alcohol and all your college friends, the reception
shouldn't resemble a frat party. Club-level volume will frustrate older
family members and make it impossible for your guests to talk to one
another. When creating the play list with your band or DJ, be sure to give
input on the volume for various transitions: low for chatting during dinner,
and loud for the final song of the night, "Livin' on a Prayer," by Bon Jovi.
On the day of the wedding, ask a bridesmaid or your day-consultant to keep
volume on her radar. One of them can serve as the point person for dealing
with the band or DJ based on your requests.

Inappropriate songs during dinner

Sure, you want to hear all of your favorites from your iTunes collection,
but don't destroy your sit-down dinner because you had to fit in "I Wanna Be
Sedated," by the Ramones. Music should match the mood of the moment. Stick
with instrumentals or soft ballads during dinner, and then transition into
the dance party with something more upbeat. Work with your music pros to
pick an appropriate number of dinner-friendly selections so your guests can
digest without Van Halen screaming "Right Now!" in their ears.

R-rated songs

Yes, these are more liberal times, but be careful not to confuse progressive
with perverted. This is your day, and you shouldn't focus on pleasing
everyone with your musical selections; however, there's a glaring line you
should avoid crossing. "The Humpty Dance," by Digital Underground - fair.
"Thong Song," by Sisqo - pushing it. Beyond blatant profanity, really
consider the song¹s lyrics and meaning. There may be a very innocent inside
joke behind your choice of "The B**** Is Back," by Elton John, but keep in
mind that your flower girl will be listening, too and probably isn't in on
the joke. Keep the songs to a sensible PG-13 so all age groups will have fun
and feel comfortable.

Too much of a good thing

You both may truly love late '80s hair bands, but if Grandma listens to five
full hours of Def Leppard, she might actually go deaf. Including your
favorite genre is perfectly fine, but do so in moderation. Your wedding is a
celebration of your relationship, but it's also a gift to share with family
and friends. Keep them in mind when developing your play list. Play a
thank-you song for your parents, such as Frank Sinatra's "Chicago," or
"Thank You for the Music," by ABBA. Seeing them enjoy the night will be well
worth a little Bobby Darin.

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