“This is tougher than I thought it would be,” said my wife. “I do love you, but being in the same living space together for so long makes me a little nervous that we can make this work for much longer.”
That was on our honeymoon 40 years ago … and we are still together.
Now we really are cooped up in the same space, sheltering at home. The claim by some sociologists is that in nine months many couples will either have a new baby or a divorce. I’m not a gambler, but I’m relatively sure neither of those will happen to us. Actually, I am 100% sure one of them won’t.
(Note: When Mary Ellen read that last sentence, she said: “That’s so sweet.” I think she missed the point of the joke.)
Here are some of the highlights for us from each day last week:
MONDAY: I made a haircut appointment because I knew there was going to be a rush when this nightmare is over, when people can finally leave their homes.
“Buddy, it’s Dick. Do you have anything available around 2:30 on May 18?”
“Sorry, Dick. I’m booked at that time already. Could we make it a little later?”
“How about 4:30?”
“How about Sept. 4?”
TUESDAY: I thought of a funny idea for a cartoon. I can’t draw so I sent the concept to my friend Gary Varvel, political cartoonist extraordinaire. Here was the notion: Just like there is a gun buyback program in some cities, I envisioned a mask buyback program where the government encourages people to return their masks for cash, so doctors and nurses can use them. In the cartoon, we see bank robbers waiting in line to get their money. Not funny? Hmmm … that’s also what Gary said.
WEDNESDAY: I posted this question on Facebook: While you have been sheltered inside, tell me something new about yourself that you have discovered. My favorite answer came from Johnny Chopak, an old friend from high school: “I discovered we have a cat.”
THURSDAY: Mary Ellen and I had an honest conversation about how we would deal with the stress of the next few months.
“What would you do, Dick, if our internet and cable went out while we were here together and the weather was terrible so we couldn’t even go outside?”
“I would hide all our sharp instruments.”
FRIDAY: I decided to catch up with old friends. Herbie was my roommate from college. I couldn’t remember when we last spoke. I googled him and with a little detective work I found his number.
“Herbie, it’s Dick Wolfsie, your roommate at George Washington U.”
“Geesh, Dick, I haven’t talked to you in 40 years. Actually, 43 years if you count when we were living together.” (CLICK)
SATURDAY: For retired people, keeping track of the days of the week is tough enough, but it’s worse when you are sequestered inside.
Mary Ellen: “Dick, it doesn’t feel like a Friday, it feels like a Sunday.”
Dick: “Funny, it feels like a Tuesday to me. Let’s ask Siri, to be sure. Siri, what day is it?”
Siri: “Feels like Wednesday to me, but I have no clue. I’ve been cooped up here all week, like you. How about the weather? I can do that for you — not that you are going anywhere.”
SUNDAY: We made Sunday a day of rest, just like we did Monday through Saturday.
