It could have been me.
As I shoveled organic garden compost into buckets to transport to my daughter and son-in-law’s house, I mulled over the charges of fifty people in federal court as part of a nationwide conspiracy to illicitly gain admission for high school students to top colleges and universities.
“Oh, how could a parent go that far?” I thought as I dug up the rich soil from Chloe’s raised garden that I had volunteered to move to her new rental home, so she would feel at home raising fresh produce. (Chloe and Michael work long days and had moved the previous Saturday.)
Among the 50 charged were television stars Felicity Huffman of “Desperate Housewives” and Lori Loughlin of “Full House” and “Fuller House.” Many parents apparently paid $200,000 and up to $6.5 million to have their children admitted to various colleges and universities.
Both moms were charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. But as I carried the buckets of pure black gold to my CRV, I began to question why I was so appalled about the college admission scandal, which the FBI designated “Operation Varsity Blues.”
I scoffed to myself: “Parents can be such helicopters.”
Twenty-four hours later, I found myself in a text discussion about the scandal with my daughters. For some inane reason I asked the question, “Did I ever show my love in a way that was maybe … going overboard?” I expected maybe one child would come up with something after a few hours — nope, my phone was dinging excessively like the New York Stock Exchange bell rings at closing time.
Alex immediately responded how I helped her laminate her “free admission tickets” that she colorfully created and printed. She then handed them out to her fifth-grade classmates for an amusement park she developed for an assignment in which she had to develop a plan and budget for a $1 million dollar business project.
In my defense, I did NOT make the $1 million dollar assignment and I am sure I highly suggested she build an orphanage instead of an amusement park.
My mean first-born — aka Alex — brought up the boxes of Capri Suns I bought, which we rarely drank because of the high sugar content, so she could finish sewing her Capri Sun beach blanket (terry cloth on one side) and Capri Sun purse for 4-H. Her sisters were LOL-ing and chiming in with their own, “Mom is just like Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin” stories.
Anyway, the three daughters that I gifted with life, probably don’t remember that I always bought the Capri Suns on sale and that MY sewing machine was used for such a time as this!
Alex then reminded me that I actually bought her a goldfish so she could have a visual aid on a science study on dorsal fins — also in the fifth grade. I do not remember this.
Chloe, the doctor for whom I moved mountains of dirt, chimed in. “So many Capri Sun’s!” she said. Then Chloe HAD to remind me and amuse her sisters.
“How about the child-size navy-blue blazers she bought so we could win the science fair, and all the scalloped scissors to create good posters?” Again, in my defense, I admit Chloe was only seven, but they did wear those blazers to church too. And I will never be ashamed for teaching my children how to create a nice display — plus I was scrapbooking back in the day, so the 32-pair of special scissors came in handy.
My third-born, Phoebe — aka mom’s traitor — was LOL-ing in agreement with the scalloped scissors and added that I helped her add rhinestones to junior high Rube Goldberg project, in addition to a high school physics project involving throwing an egg off the roof to see if it survived.
Again, I do not remember these, as physics and math were always out of my realm of helpfulness. Although,I may have purchased said rhinestones. But again, to my defense, I do remember her egg was one of thirty that actually survived the toss and it looked good.
So Felicity and Lori, I get it. I never realized if I added up the cost of buying a fifth-grade goldfish, sheets of lamination, navy-blue blazers, scalloped scissors and twelve years of rhinestones for Phoebe, I was also trying to aid my children’s success.
I think what makes me most proud is when my eldest commented seriously on the college admission scandal, “It’s just sad that the parents think that is what’s most important.”
