Dear month of July, no need to be like Miss June

You may have heard that June set a rainfall record with a state average of more than 9 inches. Yep, Miss June surpassed the previous June record of 8.13 set in 1958. She also has bragging rights for being the fourth wettest of any month on record since 1895.

But think about it July, is that what you want to be known for? Do you really want to set records in rainfall? I think not.

Consider the ramifications of too much rain. Recent studies proved through chemical analysis that too much rain causes tea to be lower quality — the concentrations of major antioxidant compounds were up to 50 percent lower in the leaves. Luckily, Johnson County doesn’t have a plethora of tea farmers since tea grows best in subtropical climates.

But you get my point, right July?

If not, maybe you could reflect on how many hours it takes for one pee-wee baseball or softball coach to call and cancel yet another rained-out game, and then attempt to reschedule it for the third time in a row.

July, I understand that you want to make a statement — we all like to think there is no one else like us. But good gracious, think of the moms of preschool and grade-schoolers who are running out of craft ideas, stories to tell and no longer have any sheets or blankets because every last one of them is being used in the living room to build tents and forts.

July, you might even contemplate on how miserable the gardeners have been since June brought monsoons and mosquitoes. I don’t want to beg, but p-l-e-a-s-e bring us some sunshine.

I surely wouldn’t want you to take this as a threat, but I happened to read where a UK company, The Perfect Day, can be hired to send out a team of “cloud bursters” to fly above the clouds and sprinkle them with silver iodide, causing the cloud to produce rain before it gets to the targeted area on the chosen day.

It seems this technique was used successfully for the 2008 Beijing Olympics, by Paul McCartney for one of his 2003 concerts and at the 2012 royal wedding. Of course, Miss July, I would prefer not having to organize a kick-starter to pay the $150,000 for a perfect day, when you are highly capable of delivering one for free.

I guess what I’m trying to communicate is there are 13 days left in your month, Miss July. I hope to see you shining.


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