From what’s being heard, sounds drive people nuts

The disorder is called misophonia.

When I first heard about this I thought it was a feeling you experience when you can’t find your cellular device. So what is it?

Well, if you have misophonia, you’re not going to like the sound of this. Actually, if you have it, you are not going to like the sound of almost anything. The malady is characterized by an aversion and sometimes a violent response to certain everyday sounds.

A man who wrote a recent article about this is a primary care physician who claims there are certain noises he can’t tolerate. Hopefully “Ouch!” and “Ahhh” are not examples of those. He admits being overly sensitive to yawners and to people whose “saliva is audible when they speak.”

By the way, if your saliva is saying anything interesting, I’d like to interview you on my TV segment.

At the misophonia website, many people expressed great relief at discovering that other people had this problem, suggesting it meant they were not crazy. That’s like watching a documentary about a woman who sprinkles sawdust on her corn flakes like you do and then saying: “See, I’m not so loony, after all.”

One man said that he suffered from the disorder way before he knew there was a word for it. This is not so unusual. My mother told me that as an infant I had catastrophic intestinal issues, but I don’t think I ever heard the word diarrhea until I was in the fourth grade.

One woman commented that she hated the sound of heavy breathing, and when she heard anyone doing it, she immediately left the room. She signed her post as Chastity, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

Another lady said that she hated it when people whistled through their noses, and still another poor soul said that she could not stand the sound of her own chewing. Don’t tell the whole world about this, lady. Just keep your mouth shut.

The sound of people eating popcorn was mentioned in several of the posts. And the crunching of apples drives a lot of people bonkers. One farmer said — and I swear I am not making this up — that when her husband eats an apple, she has to cover her ears, “but listening to my horse eating an apple doesn’t bother me at all.”

Here’s another post: “I can’t stand any sounds that are emitted orally.”

So apparently as long as her partner doesn’t snore or burp, she’s happy with anything. A newlywed said that her husband’s eating disgusts her and she’s thinking of leaving him. What? She’s just now discovering this? Waiting until marriage for intimacy is old-fashioned enough, but waiting for your first meal? What cult is that?

The sounds made by ice cream eaters are also annoying to some people. What with the lip-smacking and the spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl, one woman confessed she was thinking about doing away with her husband, but instead she told him he was lactose intolerant.

A senior citizen said that when his wife gulps soup he wants to ring her neck. By the way, ringing is the sound most people hate.

Check out the website Are these real people with legitimate concerns? Who knows. Maybe it’s all just hearsay.